What has love
Got to do
With

Morality?

Saturday, May 24, 2008:::

i had a gf...
she can flare at me...
n next moment,
pretend ntg had happened...
im at the receiving end...
yup.. i flare...
but i had to spend so much time just to make peace...
i am to blame...
coz im the one who made all these happened...

i was like wow...
u came n tok to me...
n expect me to be happy...
can u rmb when this kinda things happen to u...
how have u reacted?
imma to blame...

i already so upset...
when slping with u...
all i heard were tsk tsk tsk...
fine...
i feel so in love den...
what gf is for?
i dun even feel love...
its me who snatch the blanket...
n u think i kw and i wan?
im slping..
its not as if im awake...
i am to blame again...
inside my head...
i was thinkin...
what have i done wrong...
it all happened when im slping????

colleague said...
will u ever apologize...
in my mind i was like...
NEVER...
fat hope and slim chance...
it will never be ur fault...

boss can flare at u when working...
if its me?
lets break...
but i can still see u jking with em...
like ntg had happened...
WOW...
am i ur girlfriend?


i feel more lika shit...
going thailand?
i was thinkin...

shld i?
coz every now and den u keep breakin up with me..
i dun wan history to repeat u kw?
n see?
i knew it...
and i am lucky...

this time isnt my fault i kw...

coz u came n tok to me..
this only happened when u kw its ur fault...
den said u wanna break up?

this prove wat?
my fault or urs...
we will still break up...
on the end...
u make me sound like its my fault...
coz i walk away n shun u whenever u wanna tok?
hahaha

i am ok...

love is telling me smtg tt i dunno...
love is all abt breaking up, trying to gain more attention?
im stronger with every break up...
i dun even bother to wait for ur calls or smses...
coz i kw u wldnt...
i dun even feel enthu...
those passion had gone...
so long ago...
i nv even look forward to meet u up...
or for ur msges...
or even an oversea trip...
smt i dun even kw whats my feeling towards u...
making love seem so hmm....
loveless? and for the sake of doing...?
i nv look forward to any thing anymore...
i feel tt im totally dead after my bday...
all the tsk tsk...
all that had happened...
all the feeling tt had bottled inside...
all the grieves i cant leak but swallow inside...
i cant even tell u what i dislike abt u...
coz u will ask for BREAKUP??
i going crazy soon if it din end...

i cud have make myself feeling better den to coax u for hours n hours...
while me?
if u flare i had to swallow everything...
coz i dun wan it to end?
right now...
i dun even bother...
really...

i only cry coz i feel tt i had wasted so much time to coax u...
to ask u back..
and me???
i dun even feel love...

n do u kw?
have u even bother how i feel?
u dun even kw whether im happy or sad...
n i cry for this too...
if my friends can see the changes in me... why cant u?

i feel so happy tt u celebrated with my parents...
at least they accept u?
the cake tt u order they even bother to collect.
i am so happy for once...
it had been a long time tt i feel gd abt us...
i see the r.s is moving a lil at least...

this time im giving up everything...
giving up my hopes on u...
given up this love...

my bad...
im sorry...
i am to blame...

I loved at 11:40 PM